DAY: 15
LOCATION: Daintree Rainforest

My dad loves being alone in nature more than anyone I know. He’s hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, biked from Florida to Oregon, climbed various mountains, all by himself. His idea of luxury is a sleeping bag, thermos, and discounted hiking boots. So naturally, when I set out for my day trip in the Daintree Rainforest, I was thinking of him. What Would Tom Do?

A brief internet search revealed a strenuous seven hour hike for the truly adventurous – Mt. Sorrow Ridge. That’s what Tom would do! I read on to get the details:

“Be prepared for a very steep and difficult trail with log scrambling required in some places.” Oooooh log scrambling! Don’t even know what that is, but sounds exciting!

“Epic views! Intense hike!” Wahoo! Intense is my middle name! Just ask my exes!

“During wet season be prepared to get covered in leeches.” Wait — WHAT?

An...

DAY: 14
LOCATION: Brisbane, Cairns

If Levi’s goal in setting me up with his friend in Brisbane was to have me fall harder for him, it succeeded on all levels. Chris was kind, generous, authentic, open, intelligent, vegan – exactly the qualities I looked for in a potential boyfriend’s friends. After all, “he who walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of tools will be destroyed by douchiness.” (The Amy Main Version of Proverbs)

We met for breakfast at Sanitarium Kitchen. While I would never call veganism a cult, there is definitely a sort of understanding that goes without saying, a psychic connection that fosters immediate intimacy. Oh, you don’t eat animals either? Give me a hug and let’s talk about the childhood trauma you’ve never confessed to anyone except your therapist!

Okay, so maybe Chris and I didn’t get into the sources of our egoic issues, but only because we...

DAY: 13
LOCATION: Brisbane

Pop quiz! Amy has one full day to spend in Brisbane. What does she do?
A) Chill at the pool and order take-out. She’s tired of all that sightseeing, yo.
B) The Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. GF needs some one-on-one with a kanga.
C) Yoga, biking, museums, and vegan food, obvs.

If you guessed C, you’re right, and I’m becoming far too predictable. But in cities, those are the things that most interest me. Sorry not sorry. To be fair, I did consider B, because I did want to see kangaroos and koalas (who doesn’t?), but I still couldn’t figure out if it was ethical or not. I know they’re rescued, and sanctuaries can do a lot to help the animals, but something about paying to hold a koala felt a bit… escort-y.

Anyway, I started the day with a short boat taxi from Teneriffe to Bulimba to experience Inna Bliss. This yoga studio’s name is no joke – I felt glorious...

DAY: 12
LOCATION: Byron, Brisbane

Levi: I’m amazed you’re leaving Byron

Frankly, I was too. The ocean, the people, the yoga, the food. Three months wouldn’t have been enough, let alone three days. Jenny tempted me to stay the weekend and skip Brisbane, but alas, my bus was booked, my Airbnb paid for, and my breakfast date with Levi’s friend confirmed. I would just have to come back another time. Darn.

Sam taught a flow class in the morning. Her style differed from Jenny’s, a bit more technical, with focus on correct posture. This made sense, considering her dance and fitness background. I especially loved her savansana – she sort of sang us a relaxation mantra, putting me in this delightful hypnotic trance.

After breakfast I made one last trip down to see the water before India and Alex gave me a ride to the bus stop. Parting with the girls was such sweet sorrow, but I knew I’d...

DAY: Eleven
LOCATION: Byron Bay

Another day in paradise, another hike on Cape Byron. Only this time the sun came out to dazzle the waters and I huffed alongside India and Alex. Jenny and Sam needed to prep for a garage sale the next day, so I got to play tour guide to the lighthouse.

“My shout,” India picked up the tab for coffee at the café overlooking the bay. I wanted to get it, since she’d picked up my latte yesterday too, but I didn’t have my wallet. You’ll get her back later, it’s fine, I reassured myself as we sat down, spending entirely too much brain power worrying about this. Money was obviously still a weird thing for me – a good indicator I had a lot more work to do on the enlightened path.

But enlightenment could wait for later – right now we were talking about celebrities. It was bound to come up at some point, me living in Hollywood and all.

“How about Benedict...

DAY: 10
LOCATION: Byron Bay

I rose at 6am to join Jenny for a hike. Sam opted out due to cramps, and India and Alex hadn’t come home until 3, so it was just the two of us. Sure, it was early, but this was one of the reasons I’d chosen Airbnb private rooms – to have a local show me the ropes.

“We’ll drop off these books at the library, then park near the Cape and take my favorite route,” Jenny explained. “I’m creating an outdoor course, with stops along the way for various exercises. But today we’ll just hike, and maybe do some yoga in my special spot.”

“Sounds wonderful!” I replied, thrilled she used the library. I wasn’t the only book borrower left after all.

In spite of the early hour and grey weather, the cove teemed with surfers and hikers. We managed to find a parking spot, and started up the trailhead. The initial climb winded me slightly, but my health was definitely on the...

DAY: 9
LOCATION: Sydney, Byron

After visiting Australia’s two largest cities, I craved a change of pace. Melbourne and Sydney had been a great kickoff to the trip, with awesome food, plenty of sights, and the new boy, but I was ready for something quieter. A place where I could go deeper inside myself, connect a little more to source. Heal the physical and the spiritual. Like a vegetarian yoga homestead at Byron Bay.

First, though, I had to check out with Janet, which meant getting my deposit back for the keys. She wasn’t answering texts or her bedroom door, so I looked for her in the kitchen area, dark and creepy as ever. On the balcony under the drapes I spotted a pair of feet.

“Janet?” my voice cracked, as if this might be a horror film and she might be wielding a knife.

No response. I made my way past the boxes posing as furniture, and pulled back the curtain.

“AGHH!!” a...

DAY: Eight
LOCATION: Sydney

With only one day left to explore Sydney, I needed a strong soy latte and a game plan. Gumption in the Strand Arcade had my name written all over it. But first, cold meds.

The walk across Darling Harbor had an entirely different flavor from yesterday. Young professionals zipped across the Pyrmont Bridge, single-minded in their pursuit of the office. The morning clouds above cast dramatic shadows onto the rippled water. A chilly wind whipped my face, as if to say “Wake up! Holiday’s over, back to work!”

Waiting for my coffee amongst the sea of suits, I tried to fathom a day job. In my 13 years of gainful employment, I’d never worked a 9 to 5. I’d waited tables, done commercial background, acted in movies and TV, written a book on Tinder dating, but never had a set schedule. I liked it that way. A Monday through Friday, two weeks of vacation career always...

DAY: Seven
LOCATION: Sydney

You’d think after writing a book on dating, I’d know better than to get super excited about some guy I met at a masturbatory party who lives halfway around the world and works in coal. COAL. Pretty much the antithesis of everything I’d come to stand for over the past year. And yet, there I was, sick as a dog, blow drying my hair and waiting for him to bring me drugs.

Laurel came home first with her best friend, a major blessing. I was supposed to check out by 10, but she told me I could leave my luggage at hers until after our brunch. Thank god, because I did not want the international financier seeing my broken suitcase and sewn up backpack, as shallow and unevolved as that sounds. Worse, I didn’t want him seeing my next accommodation, which I had a feeling would be bare bones at best. Probably not the right mindset to be starting off this romance, but...

DAY: Six
LOCATION: Melbourne, Sydney

My immune system lost. I was officially starting out 2017 with a cold, maybe even the flu. Either way, I definitely had an embarrassing bout of regret. The thunder of the midnight fireworks had shaken me from my sweaty slumber, but I’d felt too ill to climb the two flights of stairs to witness the visual. Now, having listened to Aaron’s recap and viewing it online, I was beating myself up for having missed it.

“Why do I even care about something so trivial?” I moaned to my best friend Monika. “I just feel dumb because I was literally awake downstairs.”

“Well stop it. You’re sick and didn’t see some fireworks, big whoop,” she told it to me straight. But I still felt bad. The path to acceptance is a long one.

With a couple of hours to burn before my flight, I checked out one last café – Pillar of Salt. I ordered the Golden Latte, a turmeric tea...