I Came for the Accent

DAY: Two
LOCATION: Melbourne

The plane landed in Melbourne around noon. I managed to squeeze in a few hours of rest by curling into a fetal position and using my scarf as an eye mask/pillow/ body odor diffuser. It was a testament to my fatigue – I never sleep on flights.

But who needs sleep when adventure awaits! The thrill of the unknown coursed through my veins as I stepped off the jetliner. Helllooooo… Starbucks? Whatever, it didn’t matter. Not even the sight of the familiar corporate mermaid could kill my joy – I’d made it to Oz!

Almost. For some reason, passport control didn’t seem to believe my story about why I was in Melbourne.

“So, you’re just here by yourself, doing what exactly?” The gatekeeper eyed me suspiciously.

“Well, I was supposed to meet my friend here, but then he got this girlfriend, so he’s in Sydney and I’ll see him there in a few days. But I’m gonna do the usual tourist stuff,” I smiled.

“Like what?” He stared at me.

“Um, you know, like, the, uh, Botanical Gardens? And the, uh, you know the museum?” I’d made a list of sites I wanted to see the week before, but sleep deprivation prevented me from remembering them. “…what’s the place with the cool rocks?”

He grunted and stamped my passport. I sighed, relieved. But I still wasn’t in the clear.

“Ma’am, I need to talk to you,” another officer pulled me aside. Oh god, it’s happening. I’m getting detained for reading Reddit conspiracy and researching Monsanto! I knew the government had me on their watchlist!!

“Can you explain to me why you’re here?” He asked gravely.

“It’s my first time traveling alone! I’m not totally sure what I’m doing, I’m just sort of on this spiritual quest to find myself,” I crumbled.

“Oh, okay then,” the guard looked uneasy. “Hope you do. Have a nice trip.”

And just like that, I was free to move about Australia.

The first order of business was locating my AirBnb.* Although I’d used the app many times in Europe, this was my first time ever booking a private room. In fact, I’d booked almost all private rooms in Oz – mostly because I couldn’t afford the entire house, but also to meet locals. Was I nervous about staying with complete strangers? Absolutely. But that’s why I’d chosen all women and one happy-looking couple – Aaron and Quinn, my Melbourne hosts.

I sent Aaron a message, and he responded he would meet me at the Richmond train station. I hopped on the airport shuttle bus into the city, and it delivered me to Southern Cross. I purchased a ticket and found a seat on the Cranbourne line, across the aisle from a muscular man in flip flops and shorts so short they were pretty much boxer briefs. Now this was more like it. Hellllooooooo quads.

I couldn’t stop grinning the ten minutes it took to go three stops. There’s something profoundly satisfying in navigating a foreign city. Sure, Google maps makes it easier than tying a shoe, and yeah, everything’s in English, but it still felt good to be making it on my own, halfway around the world.

Per his description, a tall skinny guy with black glasses and black cap awaited me at the station. We shook hands and exchanged a few pleasantries, of which I understood maybe half, including the line “some people have trouble with the accent.”

“Oh no, I love the accent! That’s one of the main reasons I came here!” I joked. He said something back, but I couldn’t decipher it.

As we walked through the quaint neighborhood, Aaron filled me in (sort of) on restaurants, coffee shops, and cool areas to hang out. From what I could gather, Melbourne was less about sightseeing, more about simply experiencing a way of life. No wonder the passport controller had been confused.

We arrived at their home, a modern three story townhouse with blooming jacaranda in the front yard. I had the bottom floor to myself, with a gorgeous, spa-like bathroom, and impeccably clean bedroom. A steal for $60 a night. Airbnb win!

Aaron got me settled in, then returned to his wife and friends at the all day cricket match down the street.** I wasted no time showering and heading out into the city. I beelined for the Royal Botanic Gardens, only a mile on foot. After 30 odd hours in man-made spaces, I needed some man-arranged nature.

It was beautiful. Lakes covered in lily pads, bamboo and fern forests, ten different types of mint in the herb garden. I found some shade next to the water and closed my eyes to meditate. My senses sharpened… the beads of sweat on my neck from the hot summer air… the sound of the bugs whirring… the smell of the grass. This was why I loved traveling – presence. I focused in on my breath, and let everything go.

Half an hour later, I resumed wandering. I stumbled upon the Shrine of Remembrance, and it moved me the way only war memorials can. Haunting, humbling, unsettling. I crossed over the Yarra river and entered St. Paul’s Cathedral, but the upside down pentagrams in the nave prompted a quick exit. They probably meant nothing, but it still creeped me out after all of the reading I’d been doing on symbolism and the occult. I preferred the gardens for my spiritual uplift.

My stomach started to grumble, so I looked up the vegan restaurants I had starred in nearby Fitzroy. At the top of my list – Smith & Daughters. I practically pranced the 2 kilometers there, so many Instagrammers had raved about it. Yey paella frit—

It was closed. I stood on the corner for several minutes, peering into the windows, as if I could somehow manifest it opening. Closed for the holidays. Be back January 4th. There would be no paella fritters or oyster mushroom and white bean ceviche. Tear.

I moseyed over to plan B, an Ethiopian place called Konjo in Collingwood. Also closed until January. Argggg. I decided I could no longer trust Google, which stated both as being open, and backtracked to Bowl Bowl Dumpling, a restaurant not on my list but very much serving food.

For being a random last resort, this Chinese joint really exceeded my zero expectations. The mapo tofu was perfectly spicy and deliciously silky, and the veg dumplings excellent. But the best part may have been seeing the growth I’d made in the Dining Alone Department. A year and a half ago in Budapest I didn’t last five minutes in my own skin before losing my mind, downing a glass of wine, and injecting myself into another table’s conversation. Tonight I just ate mindfully and silently, content with my own company and water.

After dinner I wanted to keep exploring the super hip neighborhood, with its vegan billboards and provocative street art, but the fatigue finally took over, and pointed my legs home. There would be time enough for everything. Or at least, the things I was meant to do. And for my very first day on the ground, it was a bloody success.

*I know the company has received some bad press over the years, like allowing racism and boosting rental rates, but I still love it. You gotta pick and choose your battles, and this time I’m siding with the tech bros.

**According to the travel guides, cricket is one of the must-dos of Melbourne. One that I would most certainly not be doing. I barely enjoy watching the sports I know, but five ten-hour days of a game that sometimes has no winner? Solid pass.